a rite of passage – my first troll

So, I got a comment the other day from my first troll. I’m a big lady blogger now! It actually makes me feel a little like I’ve “made it,” so to speak. It happens to most of us (and for an absolutely epic takedown of trolls, please see Fat Heffalump’s piece from a couple weeks ago), so I can’t say I’m surprised. I should say I don’t want to make light of the situation. I have been extremely lucky in that they are few and far between for me. Some folks get this drivel on a daily fucking basis and I can’t even imagine how that must feel. So I’m also sending a special shout-out to any other folks out there who have to deal with mean-spirited, small-minded people who spew hatred in their direction. I’m sending you happiness and sunshine! And the occasional “fuck you” to the trolls on your behalf!

I won’t give him or her (I don’t know the gender of the commenter but for sake of ease, he’s a he in this post) the air time and paste the comment here, but basically this person is seriously, truly concerned that I am a huge massive fatty fatty 2 by 4. I’ve been compared to an animal of the sea (hint: an awesomely fierce and beautiful whale of the killer variety) and have been told that I shouldn’t post pictures of myself. Among other things.

And you know what? I’m not even mad. Are you kidding me? While anger can be an absolutely fantastic outlet for people (and it certainly has been for me, I’m not knocking the anger!), this time all I felt (well, after I laughed) was sorrow for the commenter. What must be going on in his life such that he feels it necessary to take time out of his day to tell someone they shouldn’t do what they obviously enjoy doing. Is he unhappy with his life? Do I intimidate him? Does my obvious comfort with how I look make him feel like shit about his own body? I don’t know, but on my best days (and fortunately I read the comment on one of those days), all I want to do is send good vibes out into the universe so that this person can feel better about himself and not feel the need to post what he perceives to be mean things about some random person on the internet. On my bad days? That’s where the anger comes in handy.

And if the person who sent me that comment is reading this? To you I say: I hope whatever is going on in your life rights itself, because life is too god-damn short to be an asshole about what other people choose to do with their bodies. peace.

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9 responses to “a rite of passage – my first troll

  1. well said, friend. it’s a very interesting concept – someone who you don’t know, who has no ties to you or your world, decides to spend their energy reaching over into your world in a single-minded attempt to cause you distress and pain. it’s incredibly sad and quite pathetic, really. like the bully in high school who your parents always told you “picks on you because they’re the insecure one.” only now it’s magnified by the anonymity of the interwebz. cheers to you, for letting go and for rising above the petty smallness that is one sad person’s only source of delight in their world. they can have it – you have so much more.

    • hah, my mom’s voice was one of the first ones that popped in my head when i read the comment, saying exactly what you just said: “when people are mean it’s because they aren’t happy with their lives. it all stems from fear.” moms are so smart! so are jillies!

  2. I just don’t understand how people have the TIME in their lives to expend all that energy policing and criticizing others. I barely have the time to do the stuff I NEED to do, let along hobbies… or things I want to do!

    Is it flattering in a weird, twisted way? That we are so awesome they feel the need to obsess and tear others down? Who knows.

    But you are totally right! Life is too short.

  3. so, a fb friend posted one of those horrible, unimaginative, mean pics from walmart. it was a woman in a sports bra and spandex and visor- very 80s- in an aisle at walmart. the comments people made were sad, yet humorous . not in the haha way… same thing: these people take the time to make a rude comment about how someone looks? one woman even said: “Working on her fitness
    Her much needed fitness… too bad she doesn’t do it in the comfort of her own home, which wouldnt burn irreversible memories into our retinas too.” mind you, this commenter does not look like Barbie (I know, I know, our societal idea of perfection- not that it’d be okay if she did look like that.) point being, where doea that comment come from? her own self hatred?
    I de-friended this person and wrote: “i don’t get it. why is this fb photo and comment worthy? do you all enjoy making fun of some stranger who clearly is fine with how she looks? why do you all have a problem with it? i think that people are good and then I see this crap- makes me sad for everyone that thinks they have a right to an opinion on someone else’s body. shame on you.”
    ANyway, just thinking…
    thanks for the post, my famous blogging sister 🙂

  4. Ahh welcome to the club m’dear. It means you’re being noticed!

    Thanks for the link love!

  5. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
    Eleanor Roosevelt

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