new years intention

i hate resolutions. i’ve never really made them for a variety of reasons: i certainly like the idea of self-assessment, but feel that it needs to happen more than once a year for me and focusing on setting resolutions on a set day seems a little disingenuous; my relationship with food and dieting has been all-consuming for much of my life and setting up resolutions to then not meet them is very triggering to me, it feels like yet another weight loss goal that i set for myself and fail to meet; i feel like i’m taking part in The Great Lose Weight/Look “Better” Challenge that most folks set up for themselves through new years resolutions. For a lot of people (and certainly showcased in the media through commercials, advertisements, gym specials, etc), new years resolutions are about looking “better” through weight loss. Inherent in this resolution is the idea that we look like crap if we’re fat. You can see where I’m going with this. Not a fan.

Instead, i’ve spend the last couple days reflecting upon my FA journey. Many days it’s all I want to do. I want to read books voraciously, engage in fantastic conversations with other FA bloggers, educate my loved ones, and spend hours getting inspired by the countless fatshionistas out there. And some days it’s exhausting. I get tired of squeezing into small spaces, of going straight to the accessory and handbag section of most straight-sized stores when i shop with friends, of needing to be the cultural ambassador for fatties when talking to my family, of defending my size, of of of.

Don’t get me wrong. Choosing to do this work and to blog about it has been the best decision I’ve made in my 30 years.

Enter one of my intentions for this year. WordPress has introduced a challenge called The Daily Post. It’s pretty much what it sounds like – one post a day for the year. That seems a bit on the daunting side to this new blogger, so instead I will be partaking in their “post a week” challenge throughout the year. For the last couple months of 2010 I posted about once a week and I like the idea of carrying that practice through this entire year. To a wonderful, challenging, inspiring, and intention-setting year!

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10 responses to “new years intention

  1. yay for more to read from you! 😀

  2. I’m also not a fan of New Year’s (diet) resolutions, but to each its own. I quite like the idea of the blog challenge, daily or weekly, but I can’t seem to find a way to use their blog ideas to fit the main theme of my blog. So I’m on my own, lol.
    Happy New Year!

  3. Dear precious friend. I must be “fat-blind” because that is never the impression I get when I see you. I see a vibrant, sassy, smart, funny, sexy, caring (and, yes, sometimes struggling– as do we all) human. That being said I confess to being somewhat fat-phobic relative to my own escalating weight over the years as I grow older. I am making peace with what is and celebrating a healthy though more rounded body I have noticed that aging and ‘excess’ weight makes one rather invisible to certain portions of our western population. To that I say, the hell with them…they don’t know what they are missing in the ‘not seeing’. Raised by a feminist mother in the 1950’s/60’s I was waaaay ahead of the curve in my acceptance levels of non-traditional you name it…Thin, fat, gay, strait, white, black, religious or not-so-much, we were taught to meet each human at the place they offered themselves up. What was off-putting to me then as well as now, are all of the boorish, unkind and thoughtless people who judge those of us who do not fit the young and slender mold. It boils down to consciousness I think. Thank you for sharing these words with me. I am honored to be included in this circle. You know you are loved as well as ‘seen and heard’ for the very one you are in this exact moment. I am always a proud member of the Sabrina Fan Club, and I am standing beside you in support all the days of my life.
    Peace and endless love, P.

    • fabulous penny – this is so beautiful to me: “celebrating a healthy though more rounded body.” THAT is what fat acceptance is all about. celebrating bodies. and breaking down the stereotypes that fat = unhealthy. I also think this is absolutely wonderful and I hope to strive for it in everything I do: “meet each human at the place they offered themselves up.” positively fantastic, thank you!

  4. The people who like us, who care about us, don’t see our fatness, because they see fat as “gross, ugly, lazy, smelly, disgusting”, and of course they care about us, so we do not equal that. What is important is that they know that OTHER people in the world see us as that. Other people judge us, treat us badly, discriminate against us because they don’t know us, so they only see our fatness, and therefore we equal “gross, ugly, lazy, smelly, disgusting.” to them.

    As passionate as I am about fat acceptance, there are many, many days that I wish I didn’t have to do this. That I didn’t have to fight for the simple, fundamental human right to live our lives without prejudice, discrimination or outright hatred. I wish that I didn’t have to take on diet talk amongst my friends and colleagues. I wish that I didn’t have to fight for the same clothing options as straight sized people do. Most of all I wish I didn’t have to be an educator of people every day of my life. I wish that I was on an even playing field that I could relax in and know that I wasn’t forced to the back of the pack simply because of my body.

    I **SO** look forward to reading your posts this year, I’m sure that you’ve got so much to share with us all. Happy New Year hon!

    • THAT is an excellent way to respond to someone who doesn’t “see our fat.” I’ve definitely gotten my fair share of “but you’re not fat!” to which i of course respond “um, yes i am. and it’s not a dirty word.” but you hit the nail on the head w/ the folks who don’t see us as fat. I certainly understand that it’s coming from a place of love, but the important thing for them to understand is that (a) it’s not a bad thing to see someone as fat, (b) it’s important for them to unpack the word a bit and see if they equate “lazy, gross, etc” with it, and (c) even if they don’t equate the word fat w/ lazy, gross, etc, many MANY other people do.

      happy new year to you too! here’s to a fabulous 2011! (and a bald one!) 😉

  5. Pingback: sometimes you just need a break | the taking up of space

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