here we go…

This is my space. Not “myspace” which has forever ruined putting together the word “my” and the word “space” but I’m going to just go with it.

I am claiming my space. “Taking it up” as it were. I am not going to apologize on the bus for taking up more than my societally approved fair share of the seat. I am acknowledging that i take up space.

This is the beginning for me – or, one of the beginnings, as I’m sure there will be many. I have learned from beautiful, insightful, thoughtful, gorgeous writers out there in the fatosphere who are doing absolutely incredible work in the area of fat acceptance – fatshionista, the rotund, etc. What is missing, for me, is dialog around the *process* of fat acceptance. I am delighted at the prospect of one day being able to truly believe what I am typing here. I don’t now.

I have thought for a long time that people should really only blog when they have something to say that is “worth” sharing. The act of writing out your thoughts/expertise/etc seemed very self-indulgent and somehow inappropriate. Just recently, though, it became clear to me that my journey through fat acceptance is extremely personal (which is good) and also very private (which may not be as good). I don’t talk about this work I’m doing with my family or friends. There comes a point where it’s necessary to reach out for support. I can’t do this alone. And for a while I thought I could do it alone (and wanted to).

SO, I’m sharing my thoughts. This is the scariest thing I’ve done (recognizing that my life is pretty cushy); I am publicly announcing that I take up space. I have a body. I have a body that I am sick of talking shit about every single day.

I imagine the goal of this blog will be fluid. Right now, the purpose is to get thoughts out there. Maybe for no one other than myself.


2 responses to “here we go…

  1. Re: this work being both personal and private really got to me. This push and pull between the things in our life that are deeply personal, the ingrained parts of ourselves that are so core to us and where we’re at in this moment of our lives that it’s hard for us to even imagine our lives without that thing, that quality, that attribute, that process… and the things in our life that are private, secret, silent to everyone else but our own brains and hearts. While there are peices of my own life that I keep quite private, I wonder how life would be if we put “out there” all those things that we think we need to keep silent, or all those secrets that we keep only with ourselves. What would happen? How would that change us? How would that change me? How would that change the way I was honest, or not honest, or purposeful or no purposeful? How would that change the way I walked in the world? Or maybe more simply, how would that change the way I breathed? I think about little secret private things as the parts of me that keep me hyperventilating, the things that make me hold my breath, the things that make me gasp for air. What would it be like to just breathe a bit more freely?
    I hope this, if nothing more is an opportunity for you to breathe freely. Also, I think you are uncommonly brave. I am proud of you. For everything, but mostly because you couldn’t care less if I (or anyone) was proud of you for this courageous step. Because this is for you. And not for us. And that is the thing that sparkles to me, the thing that shines more brightly and clearly and powerfully than anything else.

  2. Pingback: who is this for? | the taking up of space

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